Anonymous asked:

what is a crush? define "crush". (in other words, how would you distinguish "crush" from "love"? symptoms/ signs. when does crush become actual "love")

Answer the above and maybe I will then be able to contribute a story about "crush".

Excellent question, Anony.

I would loosely define a crush as any kind of “romantic infatuation.” I wouldn’t really want to get too strict or technical with the definition since everyone experiences these things differently.

Oh, who are we kidding! I made a scientific graph detailing every phase of a painful crush for our Chestbursters art exhibit. OF COURSE I want to get into the details of what constitutes a crush and I want to get REALLY TECHNICAL about it! I’ve just been waiting for someone to ask me this question.

In my opinion there are two interrelated things that distinguish a crush (and in particular a painful crush) from love:

1. High levels of anxiety: Usually the amount of time that you actually spend with a crush is far surpassed by the amount of time thinking, obsessing, and talking to your friends about your crush. All this leads to anxiety, which may include fever dreams, insomnia, or general absent mindedness. 
2. High levels of uncertainty: High levels of anxiety can in turn lead to trouble communicating with your crush when you’re with them. Maybe you don’t know them that well, maybe you feel blushy or stuttery when you’re around them, in any case, the amount of clear, direct, verbal communication going on between you two is pretty minimal. Sometimes people try to overcome the communication obstacles by reading too much into body language or through gift giving, hence the large number of stories surrounding mix tapes, letters, and Alf dolls on our blog. Lots of people experience these crushes during their high school years, and some people experience these for A LOT longer. In any case, this lack of direct verbal communication can make you feel very uncertain about your crush’s feelings towards you. Thus, leading us back to anxiety.

In my experience, love usually feels a lot better than this; there’s more contact and a deeper connection (even when it does end up being unrequited). It can still be painful but usually in a different, less embarrassing way. Love is also beautiful and magnificent, crushes are usually neither.

Anyways, if ANY of this sounds familiar please, please do contribute a story about a crush. The more painful, awkward, or bittersweet the better!

A