We’re gonna fess up here, gentle readers, we received this message nearly three years ago. What can we say, sometimes we just get really busy. For instance, M. has been busy waiting for the past three years for her crush to respond to her text message which simply read “Hey, what’s up?” While A. has been waiting for her crush to look at her while riding the same bus every morning for the past three years.
Anyways, you asked us if you should email your crush or if you should wait for him to write first. Well, either way, we’re sorry to say, you’re going to be waiting.
According to Roland Barthes, the French semiotician and author of A Lover’s Discourse, waiting is part and parcel of being in love:
“Am I in love? —yes, since I am waiting. The other one never waits. Sometimes I want to play the part of the one who doesn’t wait; I try to busy myself elsewhere, to arrive late; but I always lose at this game. Whatever I do, I find myself there, with nothing to do, punctual, even ahead of time. The lover’s fatal identity is precisely this: I am the one who waits.”
Love, waiting. Waiting, love. Seems like these are one and the same. So, you can email or not email but either way it’s you as the “crusher”who will be waiting. Waiting for what Barthes would call a “promised sign”:
"I am waiting for an arrival, a return, a promised sign. This can be futile, or immensely pathetic: in Erwartung (Waiting), a woman waits for her lover, at night, in the forest; I am waiting for no more than a telephone call, but the anxiety is the same.”
In this case your promised sign is an email not a phone call but we would say the anxiety is still the same. And you’re gonna have to deal with moderate amounts of shame as well. Sorry, man.
A + M
Ps. But seriously, we hope you just sent him an email three years ago. If you haven’t, just do it now. It won’t be weird.