Beach babes

Beach babes

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Anonymous asked:

The guy's a senior, and I'm a junior.
He's graduating this year. When we hugged goodbye at our meeting yesterday, he said that he was really glad he met me this year, ect. Then I asked if he wanted to get lunch with me this Friday. He asked what time, and I said that anytime would work since I don't have class on Fridays. He replied that this Friday might not work so well for him, but that we could do it next week and that we'll keep in touch via email.
Was his reply basically a no?
Should I ask him again next week, or should I wait for him to ask (if he does)?
Thank you.

We’re gonna fess up here, gentle readers, we received this message nearly three years ago. What can we say, sometimes we just get really busy. For instance, M. has been busy waiting for the past three years for her crush to respond to her text message which simply read “Hey, what’s up?” While A. has been waiting for her crush to look at her while riding the same bus every morning for the past three years. 

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Anyways, you asked us if you should email your crush or if you should wait for him to write first. Well, either way, we’re sorry to say, you’re going to be waiting. 
 
According to Roland Barthes, the French semiotician and author of A Lover’s Discourse, waiting is part and parcel of being in love:
“Am I in love? —yes, since I am waiting. The other one never waits. Sometimes I want to play the part of the one who doesn’t wait; I try to busy myself elsewhere, to arrive late; but I always lose at this game. Whatever I do, I find myself there, with nothing to do, punctual, even ahead of time. The lover’s fatal identity is precisely this: I am the one who waits.”
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Love, waiting. Waiting, love. Seems like these are one and the same. So, you can email or not email but either way it’s you as the “crusher”who will be waiting. Waiting for what Barthes would call a “promised sign”:

"I am waiting for an arrival, a return, a promised sign. This can be futile, or immensely pathetic: in Erwartung (Waiting), a woman waits for her lover, at night, in the forest; I am waiting for no more than a telephone call, but the anxiety is the same.” 

In this case your promised sign is an email not a phone call but we would say the anxiety is still the same. And you’re gonna have to deal with moderate amounts of shame as well. Sorry, man.

A + M

Ps. But seriously, we hope you just sent him an email three years ago. If you haven’t, just do it now. It won’t be weird.

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Anonymous asked:

how u know if someone like you

You know, Anonymous, day in and day out we receive tortured, lovelorn questions of exactly this nature. And it’s hard, we’re not gonna lie. It takes a toll on us. 
 
In fact, sometimes we feel like the title character from Nathanael West’s short story “Miss Lonelyhearts” where all of the questions the main character receives in his job as a newspaper advice columnist are alike, that is, “stamped from the dough of suffering, with a heart-shaped cookie knife.” In the story, Miss Lonelyhearts becomes paralyzed by the pain of desperate New Yorkers writing to him for advice on a daily basis.
 
After a period of extreme depression and physical illness Miss Lonelyhearts achieves a kind of religious enlightenment. Coincidentally, this has also happened to us! From our lofty yet humble position of prophet-like grace, we feel that it’s best if we no longer give direct advice but rather, we have decided to simply smile serenely into our computer screens. Can you feel it? Can you feel us smiling serenely?
 
A + M
 
Ps. But seriously, you really can tell if someone likes you from the way that they smile at you. They often get this dopey expression in their eyes. And then they look away in terror when they notice you noticing them. That’s a sure fire way of figuring out if someone likes you.
                            
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Anonymous asked:

pano ko po malalaman kung crush ako ng crush ko? actually po, nag kakatinginan kame pero hnggang dun na lang yon. one time nginitian nya ko i feel so loved agad, crush na crush ko po sya and he is my school mate. will you please help me?


With a little bit of effort on our part, we figured out that you were writing in Filipino. We popped your question into Google Translate and were very pleased with the results:

Please know what should I do if I crush crush? actually sorry, you kakatinginan meat but just dun hnggang Yon. One time I smiled at her I feel so loved right away, please crush crush she and he is my school mate. will you please help me?
 
Here’s our answer, fully Google Translated for your reading pleasure:
 
Kaya ka talaga “vibing" gamit ang iyong kamag-aaral, hey? Mula sa kung ano ang maaari naming magtipon mula sa Google mahusay na, kung bahagyang mala-tula, pagsasaling-wika, mayroon kang isang crush kung sino ang "vibing" may ibang tao ngunit tumugon siya ay positibo sa iyong friendly na "vibing.” 

Okay, mabuti iyan. Sa tingin namin na dapat mong “step up your vibes” kung alam mo kung ano ang ibig sabihin namin. Kung hindi, ang Google Translate ito.

A + M

Ps. But seriously…
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Anonymous asked:

I've had a huge crush on one of my friends for over a year. Recently i went to see the hobbit with a bunch of friends. We got into the theater, then everyone but him suddenly had to "go to the bathroom." I knew exactly what they were up to, but he was oblivious. They didn't come back and he was a bit worried, but then the film started. It was pretty much 3 hours of us leaning on each other and just overall oh my god do you like me closeness ? I'm so confused bc he hasn't said anything about it ?

First of all, three hours of leaning? That’s awesome. You guys basically had sexual intercourse. Because really, leaning rules. One time, I leaned into this guy for like, five hours. It was pretty intense. 
 
So, congratulations.
 
A + M
 
Ps. But seriously, we think that the three hours of leaning is a really good sign that he likes you too. So if you wanted to just tell him that you like him, you have our approval. If you want to go for a more subtle approach, try getting into another leaning situation. Schindler’s List is a pretty long movie, that might be a good choice. 

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Anonymous asked:

Okay, so I am crushing on a girl in school, we are like best friends so we talk a lot. From that, I know that she likes another dude in school, who is okay, nothing against him. What Freaking Do?

Excellent question: What. Freaking. Do. Now this is a question that we can really sink our teeth into.

Okay, so, you begin the question with the word “what.” This is a very common way of phrasing a question. You also end the question with a question mark which is also a very common way of indicating that you’re asking a question. 

Now for the tricky part: Freaking Do. Freaking Do? Do Freaking? By freaking, do you mean the definition that Milton introduced in Lycidas in 1637: to fleck, streak, or variegate?

Following this definition, you’re probably enquiring about the colour or pattern of something, possibly your ‘do (as in hairdo)? Are we right? Is this right? If so, excellent question.
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But, maybe you are using the definition derived from the Old English, frīcian, to dance? In that case, you’d be asking what kind of dance moves would potentially attract your crush? If so, also an excellent question.

A + M

Ps. But seriously, don’t freak out. Do you get the sense that she might like you romantically? Because if you get that feeling, you’re way ahead of any “okay dude.” Test the waters. Dip your toes in. Skip a couple rocks. Maybe you could ask her out on a date-like hangout to a body of water and see how she responds.

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Anonymous asked:

hello! ok so I am in a bit of a pickle.. I am attracted to a boy both physically and personality wise. I am 16 and he will be 15 in a month. I usually don't sweat age differences so that's not my issue. the problem is.. he's one of my best friends' little brothers. we met on New Year's Eve this year and from the first time we saw each other, we clicked. I think my friend picked up on it a bit... but what should I do?! help :(

Hey Anonymous, that is a bit of a pickle. Luckily, here at Chestbursters we love a good pickle! 

You’re right, we don’t think you need to sweat the age difference. 

Did you know that Woody Allen began a relationship with the adopted daughter of his then-wife Mia Farrow, Soon-Yi, in the early 90s and they’re still together? They were 37 years apart. That’s a pretty big age difference. Do you think Woody Allen sweated it? No, he didn’t. He just said, “The heart wants what it wants.” And if your heart wants the younger brother of your friend then that’s fine. Just fine.

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Do you know who else had a big age difference? Harold and Maude of the hit movie Harold and Maude. She was 79 and he was around 20. That’s a 59 year age difference! No sweating there. Now that was a woman who knew how to live life to the fullest and how to teach a young man how to do the same.

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Does this answer your question? Great!

A + M

Ps. But seriously, we think you should just try to hang out with your friend and her brother together and see how that goes. Don’t worry about making any moves just yet. You’ll be able to gauge the situation if you spend time around both of them.

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Anonymous asked:

I like this guy and my friend knows him. I'm too shy too tell him I like him and I'd rather have my friend tell him. How should she tell him I like him? This is goin to happen tomorrow. xx thanks

Here’s our advice:

Step One - Paint a portrait of him.
Step Two - Have your friend scale the wall of his five storey house and sneak into his room at night.
Step Three - Tell her to transport his sleeping body from his bed onto a gurney. It’s easy. But be sure to tell her to be extra careful not to wake or startle him.
Step Four - Roll the gurney to a secluded place where the painting is.
Step Five - Wait for him to wake up and have her ask for his number.

Just kidding, sneaking into his room at night is illegal. You should actually have your friend kidnap him from his workplace. Just kidding, that’s also totally illegal!

A + M

Ps. But seriously, you should try to tell him yourself. Maybe you can write him a note and get your friend to give it to him so you’re expressing your feelings in your own words. But ultimately, it would be best if you told him in person yourself even though it’s very nerve-racking (we know). Good luck tomorrow!

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Anonymous asked:

hi! you see, i really like this guy. i'd do anything just to get noticed by him. i really want to be his friend, but i'm very shy. the main problem is that he lives on the other side of the world. the only i can connect with him is through social networking sites. can you please give me any advice? thank you :)

You’ve come to the right place! Here at Chestbursters we love social networking websites. 

So you’re shy? Our number one piece of advice for you is to never communicate with him directly. Facebook is great for this.

But you’re probably a teen which means you don’t use Facebook; maybe you use Twitter, or Snapchat, or Instagram, or Yahoo Answers, or Ask Jeeves, or your Sony Ericsson Cedar Phone, or your Samsung Denim™ (Aio Wireless) Flip Phone, or Canada411.ca, or snail mail, or stork mail, or carrier pigeon mail, or (and we admit that this is kind of unlikely) a dog sled mail delivery team.

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But (and we cannot stress this enough) we are not teens, so all we know how to use is Facebook. Please deal with it. Here’s all the Facebook wisdom we’ve compiled over the years:
  • You want him to know that you’re hilarious, so only post photos of yourself where you look disgusting, such as after you’ve had your morning cry while crouching in the shower or while you have your mouth wrapped around the full girth of a Meatball Marinara Subway sandwich.
  • Remember, people only like you when you’re happy so be super positive in all status updates. For example, you can simply write I’M SO HAPPY. There’s no mistaking what that means. He’ll get the message.
  • You want him to know that you have a lot in common so find photos of yourself where you look a lot like him physically. You can even dress like him. Post these to your timeline and tag him in them. It’s really easy.
When you get a chance could you answer some of our questions? How do you make Instagram? How do you apply for SnapChat? What is stork mail, anyways? Please tell us, we’d really appreciate it.

A + M

Ps. But seriously, you can just try writing him a note or sending him a funny link. You might find yourself with a pen pal and get to know a little bit about each other in the process.

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Andy Kaufman punks The Dating Game, 1978

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