The Doctor

badkidsjokes:

i love u said the doctor
why said the man
because  i do.

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Aziz Ansari says love is "elusive and sadly ephemeral" in this interview with the AV Club (but he says it in such a funny, charming way).

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Maria Bamford on dating and crouching, naked in the shower.

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Anonymous asked:

How could I attract my crush in school?

Flirtin'

This is a picture of how to flirt in your school library.

Okay, Nony-mou, let’s get into this: 
 
In your question, you refer to yourself as “I”. Let me come back at you with another question: who are you? And by this I mean, what makes you you as opposed to someone else? In other words, in what ways are you distinct from other social entities? This notion of the “self” has troubled philosophers throughout the ages so we’re probably not going to get to the bottom of this here. But let’s take a stab at it, shall we? 
 
First off, how can we be sure that you exist? Well, this one’s pretty easy. René Descartes famously wrote: “I think, therefore I am” which of course implies the autonomy of the self in relation to its social and physical contexts. It also suggests that the act of contemplating one’s existence is in itself proof of existence. To put it a slightly different way, you are thinking about your crush, therefore you probably exist (at least according to Descartes). 
 
Or do you? Some more contemporary theorists have pointed to the “loss of self” in the postmodern milieu. In this context, the self is fluid, relational, and ever-changing. Whereas the classical modernist self was fixed, autonomous, and owned by the individual, the postmodern narrative self is created and recreated through our interactions, through the stories we are constantly telling ourselves and each other. I hate to tell you this Nony-mou, but your use of the word “I” just got a whole lot more complicated. 
 
Anyways, this is getting a little long and I’m getting kind of tired of looking up “The Self in Philosophy” on About.com, so is it okay if I get to the rest of your question next week? Great!
 
But really, really, all joking aside, I think you should just smile at your crush. Like a lot. People like it. Crushes like it. It’s a good starting point. Go get ‘em, tiger!!!
 
A.
 
#shitty philosophy  #crush advice  #painful crushes  #descartes

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On Crushes, Keats, and Pez Dispenser Bodies

Kindly submitted by one J.M. Farr. 

I have kept silent long enough.

Too long have I heard the false sighs; the cheap heartache; the empty anguish. Dear Chestburstiers, I ask you to reconsider the credentials of your famed advocate, the so-called “romantic” Anna Wilkinson. She has been dishonest with you, dear readers. The self-narrative she presents through the mouthpiece of this blog is one of an innocent and unrequited crush-champion.

She is a fraud. I know this as I know my own soul, dear readers. For, once upon a time, she was the object of my own secret and anxious admiration.

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"You, had a green goatee, and no pants. A cow patterned blazer, No shirt. Sicc tatts."

The best Craigslist missed connections from Burning Man. (via theatlantic)

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Public Arts, Secret Crushes

The other day my friend Marisa Chandler told me about an awesome little board at the corner of Gore and Union where you can write about your secret crushes. So, on one of the hottest days of the summer so far, I decided to bike down and check it out. I arrived appropriately sweaty and slightly nervous.

Once I worked up the courage to talk to Ron, the very nice, tattooed man who runs the art studio at 751 Gore, I found out that he started the board as a monument to one special girl and that it blossomed into a space for passersby to confess their own forbidden loves. Ron confided that if his secret crush ever came by and saw her name, he would DENY EVERYTHING. So perfect.

I highly recommend visiting the art space and maybe even admitting to your crush on the “donut man” or “Monty 777.”

A.

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In which Keanu’s milkshake possibly does not bring all the boys to the yard.

In which Keanu’s milkshake possibly does not bring all the boys to the yard.

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